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I once knew a kid who desired to wake up to live, to see each day for what it was. He wanted to live in reality and so committed himself to purity and love. It has been said that to the pure all things are pure and he knew that he wasn't. This scared him. This kept him up late, as he thought about the years he had lost to his current state of mind. He realized that his day to day life was not reality, that it consisted of a perverted world view he had to change if he wanted to wake up and begin to live. Yet, he had been blind for so many years. He wondered if his eyes would be able to adjust to the Sun once it shone through again. He remembered the days when it had once been bright out, when he was a child, when the Sun lit his way and his surroundings. In the light he saw everything for what it was, the ugly was ugly and the beautiful was beautiful. Yet now his lenses were dirty and the Sun, though still present was no help in lighting his way. He had grown accustomed to seeing the world through this haze. It became as if that was how the world really looked and eventually he forgot his glasses were dirty. But in the back his mind he always knew that something was wrong and that kept him searching. This search led him to seek purity and he came to understand purity in the Church. He learned the purity came with self-control and that self-control came with sacrifice. This was the only way to win the battle with lust and to discover what love really was. He knew that ordinary men were called to do extraordinary things and that his attempt to lead a pure chaste life would require the utmost sacrifice. Yet he was not afraid, for he knew that God made man not with a spirit of cowardice, but rather with one of power and love and self control. Yet man is imperfect and his desires are wild. Yet these desires are meant to be tamed and can only be tamed if they are understood. Desire has a purpose, it points you in a direction to which you are inclined to follow. Yet one can not follow desire blindly and the more he read the more he understood this. He is writing this to himself because he has forgotten why he ever started on this path to purity, this path toward freedom. He had all but given up hope. Yet he knows he was meant to live for more than what he has been these last few months. He has tasted freedom and it is time he made his way back. So with that I will get back up and make way back toward the Father once again.