Stay Awake

So today I have officially resurrected my quest for purity. I went confession in the afternoon at St. Patrick's and as usual I left "the big sins" until last. The funny thing was, the Priest interrupted me rather angrily right as I transitioned from the mortal into the venial. He yelled at me with total impatience and said that it was a complete waste of time to give him all the little sins that didn't matter first when I should have cut to the chase and told him why I was really there. He really got upset though…I mean he was like spitting, and was basically chastising me in the confessional for being skittish or, after thinking it over, for being asleep in routine. See at first I thought that he was overreacting (maybe) and old (which he was), but I later thought about it and it was probably the case that this is how it always is with confessions and he was just sick of it. I mean I think its pretty safe to say that we get in this confession routine as Catholics where we say all these sins that kinda matter, but really don't and that we probably committed but aren't really sure of…you know what I am talking about, the Catholic go to sins like, I said the lords name in vain, or I was disobedient to my parents or I was impatient with my spouse…stuff that totally could have happen but you can't remember the specifics. The point is we use these "go to" sins to hide the big sins or at least to make it look like its not the only reason why we are there…when it totally is. So anyway he was right I was just doing the routine thing when the fact is I should have just come in there and been honest and been like I'm here for this and that, and should have been like this isn’t the first time either Father, I keep struggling with this because…you get the point. Anyway that's how it should be when we go to confession, we should wake up and snap out of the routine and be honest with ourselves and the priest. That makes a good confession because it means we have really thought about why we are there. The truth of it is, we are really telling God what we are sorry for and he already knows our hearts…so we might as well poor them out and get to the point because God sees our dirty clothes for what they are…dirty, and the spots (our big sins) are the first thing he has to get out. If we are honest with ourselves it almost impossible not to be honest with God. And if we are honest with God then we come out of the washer much cleaner than we would have if we hadn’t directed his attention to the tough spots.